London Calling: Shop Clerk Picks His Moment During Robbery

This security camera footage from England shows a robbery taking place. The clerk, appearing compliant and docile, waits until the suspect's guard is down before striking back.


The clerk insists repeatedly that he has no key to the cash register, which prompts the robber to hop over the desk, and, crucially, within striking range of the clerk. Somewhat brazenly, the clerk gets on his phone, prompting the robber to knock it from his hands with the knife. The clerk does an excellent job of playing dumb, insisting that he's only covering the store for an hour, with no idea how to open the till.


At 01:16, an absolute bellend (I get to use that term because England) walks in and walks back out, doing absolutely nothing to help. He even apologizes, because it's England.


Meanwhile, the robber elects to take cigarettes and merchandise in lieu of cash. Seeing his enemy distracted, the clerk snatches the knife and charges. At 01:41, we see the clerk absolutely had the opportunity to end this dude, holding the knife over him in an icepick grip. He shows restraint that a lot of people might not have. Another bystander walks in, back out, and then back again and tries to help, at the very least asking if the clerk is alright. She shows more nerve than the plonker (England) who came in earlier. The clerk strips the robber of his jacket, hopefully allowing someone to ID him.


About the Author

Author's Photo

Cole Simms

Cole Simms is an Air Guardsman, NASA enthusiast, police officer, and security contractor with particular experience in austere environments. Outside of work, he volunteers as a Stop The Bleed instructor for area schools. He holds a Bachelor's Degree in Homeland Security and Emergency Management, and blends his knowledge and experience to write analysis for Funker530.


Need a tried-and-tested fixed blade that's trusted by police, military and protective service users all over the world? Cole recommends Ironside Edge Works for your tactical or EDC blade needs.

Published 4 months ago

This security camera footage from England shows a robbery taking place. The clerk, appearing compliant and docile, waits until the suspect's guard is down before striking back.


The clerk insists repeatedly that he has no key to the cash register, which prompts the robber to hop over the desk, and, crucially, within striking range of the clerk. Somewhat brazenly, the clerk gets on his phone, prompting the robber to knock it from his hands with the knife. The clerk does an excellent job of playing dumb, insisting that he's only covering the store for an hour, with no idea how to open the till.


At 01:16, an absolute bellend (I get to use that term because England) walks in and walks back out, doing absolutely nothing to help. He even apologizes, because it's England.


Meanwhile, the robber elects to take cigarettes and merchandise in lieu of cash. Seeing his enemy distracted, the clerk snatches the knife and charges. At 01:41, we see the clerk absolutely had the opportunity to end this dude, holding the knife over him in an icepick grip. He shows restraint that a lot of people might not have. Another bystander walks in, back out, and then back again and tries to help, at the very least asking if the clerk is alright. She shows more nerve than the plonker (England) who came in earlier. The clerk strips the robber of his jacket, hopefully allowing someone to ID him.


About the Author

Author's Photo

Cole Simms

Cole Simms is an Air Guardsman, NASA enthusiast, police officer, and security contractor with particular experience in austere environments. Outside of work, he volunteers as a Stop The Bleed instructor for area schools. He holds a Bachelor's Degree in Homeland Security and Emergency Management, and blends his knowledge and experience to write analysis for Funker530.


Need a tried-and-tested fixed blade that's trusted by police, military and protective service users all over the world? Cole recommends Ironside Edge Works for your tactical or EDC blade needs.

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