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Chuck Norris Ain't Got $#!% On The President Of Turkmenistan

Published Aug. 7, 2021

When he isn't working out using gold barbells, writing sick rap songs about horses, and guest deejaying at exclusive parties, Turkmenistan President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov is a tactical god, singlehandedly securing the borders and airspace of his nation.


Various awe-inspiring video clips show Berdymukhamedov driving tactical pickups at nearly the speed of light, personally teaching and demonstrating the entire special forces doctrine, and doing gangster-ass drive-by shootings on his 10 speed just to flex his combat prowess to the haters.


But wait, there's more. Berdymukhamedov takes a break from minigun fun time to hop in the cockpit of a fighter jet and take it for a spin with some no-big-deal barrel rolls that would melt Star Fox's brain.


Berdymukhamedov took control of energy-rich Turkmenistan in 2006. After rewriting his country's constitution in 2016 to keep himself in power for life, he won the 2017 presidential election with a landslide 98 percent of the vote and then had a 68' tall gold and marble statue of himself made to commemorate his incredible and well-earned victory.


But, like Kanye, every celebrity demigod has their haters, and in Berdymukhamedov's case those haters are represented by the Human Rights Watch who called Turkmenistan "one of the world's most isolated and oppressively governed countries." Jealousy is an ugly thing.


will killmore

Published Aug. 7, 2021

When he isn't working out using gold barbells, writing sick rap songs about horses, and guest deejaying at exclusive parties, Turkmenistan President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov is a tactical god, singlehandedly securing the borders and airspace of his nation.


Various awe-inspiring video clips show Berdymukhamedov driving tactical pickups at nearly the speed of light, personally teaching and demonstrating the entire special forces doctrine, and doing gangster-ass drive-by shootings on his 10 speed just to flex his combat prowess to the haters.


But wait, there's more. Berdymukhamedov takes a break from minigun fun time to hop in the cockpit of a fighter jet and take it for a spin with some no-big-deal barrel rolls that would melt Star Fox's brain.


Berdymukhamedov took control of energy-rich Turkmenistan in 2006. After rewriting his country's constitution in 2016 to keep himself in power for life, he won the 2017 presidential election with a landslide 98 percent of the vote and then had a 68' tall gold and marble statue of himself made to commemorate his incredible and well-earned victory.


But, like Kanye, every celebrity demigod has their haters, and in Berdymukhamedov's case those haters are represented by the Human Rights Watch who called Turkmenistan "one of the world's most isolated and oppressively governed countries." Jealousy is an ugly thing.


will killmore

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