Universal Self-Defense Tools

first published on November 30, 2015 by

Are you against firearm ownership, or are you the property of a government that doesn’t allow you to own one? Have no fear, Phuc Long is here to show you some self-defense firearm substitutes to stop muggers and rapists in their tracks.

“My name is Phuc Long, and today we are talking about the self-defense. Some people out there wanna take all your money, kick your duck(?), do the booty-infiltrate. Some people say you can pee your pants, you can throw up, and make them not horny anymore… they go away, but I don’t want the foot-long inside the Phuc Long…”

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