Syrian Rebel Can’t Shoot the PKM – Wins Syria’s Got Talent Instead

first published on April 10, 2018 by

This guy couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if he was standing inside of it with his PKM. He’s got some killer dance moves though, and as a result we get to the first ever recorded audition for Syria’s Got Talent.

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A Syrian rebel who was never taught the term shoulder pressure uselessly sprays ammunition out of his PKM medium machine gun in the general direction of Syrian troops. While it’s almost fully certain that there is zero chance that he is even hitting the building that they are in, some good things do come out of this video still. We get to learn two brand new techniques and positions for firing medium machine guns, and we also get to see Syria’s first ever televised episode of Syria’s Got Talent. Someone better get Simon Cowell on the hook, because he’s going to need to start preparing for his trip to Syria as soon as possible.

First, let’s take a look at these new firing positions. If you are a medium machine gunner in a line company, sit, kneel, bend, and get your note taking gear out. You’re gonna need to draw some diagrams here, because these positions remove the need for accuracy, volume, and shoulder pressure all in a single set of maneuvers. The first one we like to call the “Squatting Slav.” This technique was learned and adopted from watching many videos of Russian Hard Bass on YouTube, and seems to be extremely effective when used in short uncontrolled bursts that almost knock the gunner onto his back. The second technique however, is something that was created purely by the Free Syrian Army in the fields of battle during the Syrian Civil War. We like to call it the “Cotton-Eye Joe,” for obvious reasons.

Here, have a laugh, and try not to take everything so seriously today.

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