Rumors Swirl After Meteor Explosion Near Air Force Base Goes Unreported

first published on August 6, 2018 by

A significant explosion from a meteor in late July occurred just miles from Thule Air Force Base in Greenland, which triggered a series of rumors as to why the military never reported it.


One of the more popular rumors suggested that the meteor struck the base and wiped it out entirely, while another popular one insisted that the explosion wasn’t from a meteor at all, but rather a Russian “First Strike” that was targeting the American early-warning air base. A third, more believable rumor suggested that the startling shockwave had our nuclear command units readying thousands of ICBMs for retaliatory strikes.

The Air Force has now released statements to dispel the imagination-driven hysteria, stating that, “Thule is fine,” and “No, we don’t have any reports of damage, why are we getting calls on this now?”

The meteor was speeding at over 15 miles per second and exploded with a magnitude of 2.1 kilotons.

The likely reason the Air Force failed to report on the blast is because they had forgotten they had a base in Greenland since the end of the Cold War. The last two weeks have been spent trying to figure out what they’re going to do with a squadron of senior airmen turned senior citizens. I jest.