first published on September 10, 2015 by funker530
Wearing a chest full of valor ribbons and claiming to be part of SEAL Team 6 while aggressively soliciting money from convenience store patrons in Tampa, 54-year-old Freemane Brown was arrested by deputies on Wednesday for unlawful use of military insignia.
When questioned by authorities, Brown initially stuck to his story of being a SEAL who had heroically travelled the world, fighting for freedom. After a few more questions, it came to light that Brown was not a veteran of any kind, but was, in fact, a complete moron.
Among the ribbons Brown wore on the uniform he purchased from an Army/Navy surplus store were a Purple Heart, Navy Cross and a Silver Star. He was also rocking the SEAL Trident.
Authorities confiscated the counterfeit insignia at the scene, but he was later arrested at his home, which means he’s not homeless. Judging by the size of his gut, he’s not going hungry, and the fact that he had to purchase the uniform and accouterments says he wasn’t broke enough to be out soliciting money from people.
I will be waiting intently for Brown’s book, movie, and several TV interviews describing what it means to be a quiet professional, how he killed Bin Laden, and exactly what planet he’s from.