Clown Army Of Mali Techniques Analyzed

first published on October 3, 2015 by

Save all your “They don’t have the training… and blah blah” excuses. These clowns make the Afghan National Army look like Delta Force.

Though entertaining, it actually hurts to watch. I honestly think we are fortunate enough to be witnessing some of the dumbest human beings currently inhabiting this planet. That’s impressive.

These video clips are from Operation Serval, in which the French Military with augmented Malian Army units attempted to drive Islamic militants out of northern Mali. The operation lasted from January 2013 until July 2014. Much respect to the French for having to deal with these jokers. What a fratricide nightmare.

Let’s take a closer look at some of these advanced operator warfighter techniques, but pay attention! There is a steep learning curve.

“Walk Cool Fool” (00:04)

is the name of the first shooting technique demonstrated. It is an advanced variation of the western forces “walk and shoot.” Rather than crossing the exposed danger area with speed to get to cover, you must, instead, raise the rifle above your head and slowly meander across the street while draining the magazine in any direction. The raised rifle allows the rounds to clear walls and transforms you into an elevated and mobile sniping platform.

A machine gun team demonstrates the “I Am Cover” technique. (00:41)

This is done by moving into the middle of the street or the most exposed area you can find and begin depleting belts of ammunition. This is actually a two-part system. The first point of this method is to make sure all of your buddies can see how bad-ass you are from anywhere on the battlefield. When viewed by friendly forces, the “I Am Cover” technique greatly increases courage and morale among the ranks. The second part of the system is the never ending cyclic rate of fire that creates an impenetrable wall of awesomeness, intercepting any incoming enemy projectiles and rendering them ineffective.

Dude transitions through various firing techniques, none of which include aiming. (00:50)

Notice that after he realizes his first few hip shots were ineffective, he rotates the weapon at an angle and begins firing again. This kind of fluidity in a dynamic situation is how battles are won and leaders are identified for promotion. Note: At no point does the buttstock make contact with the shooter’s shoulder. That might be a decent beginner technique, but is considered cheating by the more honorable and advanced warfighters.

My personal favorite, the “Hero Stance,” is demonstrated. (00:57)

As you could guess it is the basis of the previously mentioned “Walk Cool Fool” technique, only it is utilized when in a static position. The higher you can raise the rifle above your head the more effective it becomes. The elevation of the rifle guarantees that all rounds fired will be head shots. The “Hero Stance” is called such because it gives the user a temporary burst of invincibility. Notice how after employing the method, the shooter assaults forward in Leroy Jenkins style, intersecting the shooting lanes of his pray and spraying buddies. He gains about two meters of contested ground for the Malian Army. Victory!

This casualty evacuation technique is known as the “Whirl and Spin.” (01:03)

It is accomplished by various squad members grabbing hold of the bleeding casualty and frantically pulling in different directions to see who can get the wounded to the least covered and concealed spot possible. Since the best operations are done with no planning or preparation, there is definitely not a casualty collection point nearby, and the object of this approach is to give the wounded the impression that something is being done to help until he bleeds out.

“Terrain Denial” (01:17)

We get to see these super-soldier techniques come together on a visible live target. An unarmed man steps out of his house and the Malian Army unit opens up on him. Hundreds of rounds are fired as the man darts back and forth trying to find an unlocked door. He runs laterally in the open at a distance of less than 100 meters without being harmed. Eventually he slows to a mild jog as he exits the frame to safety. This may look like terrible marksmanship from an equally incompetent fighting force, but in actuality, this was intended. From what I hear, these Malian soldiers are still, to this day, dumping magazines into that building thereby denying any further access to the structure.

This man exemplifies what it means to be better than the best. (01:44)

boolits

Years of arduous training has given this trooper a sixth sense. First, his clairvoyance alerts him that a French soldier is approaching from the rear, so he turns to greet him. As he does, he intuitively sends a round downrange without looking, drilling his enemy in the eye. He is startled by his own shot and quickly returns to scanning for targets just in time to see his enemy fall.

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